Issue #360: Stop the Chatter
Good morning. It’s Tuesday, June 25th.
Stat of the Day
We talk to ourselves at a rate of 4,000 words per minute. If we said that out loud it would take almost a half hour. Since we’re in our own heads about half the time we’re awake (8 hours) that’s almost 2 million words we say in our head every day!
Learn
Chatter
We spend 30-50% of our time NOT living in the present. We’re lost in our own thoughts.
Why would evolution make it to where our brain so easily goes into this “default mode” and isn’t focused on what’s right in front of us? Seems like we’d be in danger by daydreaming and not paying attention to that lion stalking us.
It must be a bug in our software.
Nope - it’s not a bug. In fact, it’s one of our superpowers. Our ability to time travel - that is to relive memories in the past and plan for what’s to come in the future is what makes us so uniquely human.*
We have to be able to do this so that we can make sense of our life. Our mind creates stories of our experiences and these stories are what shape our values, our goals - basically who we are and what we want.
It’s all a part of our working memory.
Ahh - memory. Of course we can’t always live in the present - we have to pull up what’s happened in the past. It’s not just recalling the days of what it was like playing sports as a kid or partying in college.
Working memory is when we learn something or hear something - say that all sales must be finalized by June 29th, not the 30th, to count for Q2 sales bonuses - and then can consistently retrieve that information to inform what we say and do.
Fun Fact: we best retain 3-5 units of information. That’s why phone numbers aren’t written like this 9018675309 - but instead like (901) 867-5309.
We retain this new piece of data by repeating it in our head - with our inner voice.
One of the ways psychologists have figured this out is that kids do this initially out loud. When they are talking to themselves they’re honing in on training their brains to retain information. Soon this becomes innate to do internally.
Side note - the more kids talk to themselves and do imaginary play, the more they are setting themselves up to be creative, goal-oriented, and effective communicators.
It’s this inner voice that really controls our mind. Normally this is fine - in fact, a good thing.
Most of the time our inner voice is checking in with us on our own goals. How are we doing with raising our kids? Are we getting any closer with our savings to buy a house?
We run mental simulations of what we have to do or what has to happen to make these goals a reality.
But this is where things can go horribly wrong - when that inner voice is just ruminating, or in “chatter” mode.
Chatter is that spiral of negative thoughts from our inner voice.
It happens when we aren’t problem-solving, but just feeling absolute stress. We can’t focus on anything, but the stress itself - not even food or sex.
This is a big deal for multiple reasons:
First - the executive function of our brain needs every single neuron to operate. Negative thoughts consume a ton of energy - leaving our logical brain completely underpowered.
Second - studies show that what we’re thinking affects our happiness more than what we’re doing. It doesn’t matter if we’re walking on the beach hand-in-hand with our partner if we’re consumed with chatter.
Third - chatter reinforces our stress so much it actually changes our DNA and gene expression. This goes back to Issue #1 of why we started Thrive25. The value of epigenetics is we can proactively influence our health & longevity by what we do. But also by what we think.
* Some animals like birds, apes, and rats also appear to have memory - they can recall the past and, therefore, “time travel” in their mind to some extent too.
Try
Get Some Distance
Chatter makes us lose our perspective.
I often tell my wife I wish I had a clone - no, not one to watch the kids while I workout, play golf, surf, like some Michael Keaton movie…
No - I mean because I work as an entrepreneur and as an executive coach.
As a coach I can see almost any problem clearly with an outside perspective - helping my clients navigate through whatever is in their way.
But as a founder I run into the same problems they do. Why? Because I’m so deep in it - I can’t create that same distance I can as a coach.
But that’s exactly what we should all do when dealing with chatter - create some distance, try to think about the cause of your chatter or stress as if you’re watching it play out as a movie. You’re not the main character - you’re the audience (or the coach).
What advice would you give to the main character to get out of the negative spiral?
This won’t necessarily lead to a solution - if you’re dealing with marital or financial problems those aren’t easy fixes. But it will help you navigate what you would tell your best friend to do and maybe you can see things from a new perspective that either gets you closer to a solution or at least out of your own head.
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Laugh
Let’s Try This Again
Here’s two Brooklyn Nine Nine clips that may have fallen through the cracks.
Like it? Then maybe get lost in the YouTube rabbit hole for a few minutes to get some more laughs in
Don’t? Then go find your funny!
Check out these unscripted moments from Brooklyn Nine Nine.
In the News
Do You Like Your Co-Workers?: HR experts report an increase in workplace incivility - including behaviors like shaming, ignoring, gossiping, and gaslighting. Good times. (Fortune)
Lazy Science on Fake Sugar: The debate over safety and efficacy of non-sugar sweeteners is often fueled by observational studies, which are prevalent in nutrition research due to their ease and low cost. Can we just get this right and end the debate? (Big Think)
Our Ability to Time Warp: Intense exercise speeds up our internal clock so we experience time differently - it moves slower. Of course, it’s not that simple. (Outside)
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Why Thrive25
We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
This newsletter is for you and we truly value your feedback. Never hesitate to reach out to us at team@thrive25.com.
To health!
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The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25, Inc. does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.