Issue #197: Raising Adults
Good morning. It’s Thursday, June 8th.
Today’s Quick Win
From the Lab: Do Things With Kids, Not For Them
Speed Read: Creating Inventors
Thursday Night In: Blueberry Chicken Chopped Salad
“Children don’t say, ‘I had a hard day, can we take a walk?’ They say, ‘will you play with me?’”
% of parents saying they are extremely/very worried about their children struggling with anxiety or depression. This tops the list of parental concerns ahead of bullying (35%), abduction (28%), being beaten up (25%) or a problem with drugs / alcohol (23%). (Pew Research Center)
From the Lab
Life is hectic - we’re all balancing our time between work, family/kids, hopefully working out, and maybe having fun (maybe just a little?).
So let’s agree we don’t have unlimited time for our kids - but what time matters the most?
Let’s do things with them, not for them.
It’s the Little Things
The days can blur together - whether you have toddlers playing with dolls or cars in the playroom, kids getting carpooled to sports or dance class, or teens giving you a few minutes before heading out with their friends.
At the time, these moments seem insignificant. It’s easy to not prioritize them - so we check our phone or find some other distraction. Or we have a mental clock in our head thinking of more work we’ve got to do that night and need to rush through the bedtime routine.
But those are the times when our kids need us most. They know they have our undivided attention. They need to know we care - that’s when the family unit stays strong.
Give them Space
Instead, we’re all in on doing things for them. The new term is “snowplow parents” - which I guess is also called lawn mowing or bulldozing parents (we don’t have snow in FL).
We devote our time and energy to remove any challenges in their life and in the process erode their growth.
By focusing on what we do for them - we instill more fear than curiosity, more insecurity than grit. This fear is now being tied back to so much of that anxiety and depression in kids (see Stat of the Day).
Ryan Holiday talks about how we’re not raising kids, we’re trying to raise adults - self-sufficient, real life, human adults.
In those moments that pass by too fast - hold them tight.
In those moments when they’re learning - give them some space.
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Speed Read
Health & Longevity in the News
Air Quality Alert: What’s up with the air right now? The issue is particles less than 2.5 micrometers in diameter (FYI, human hairs are between 17-180 micrometers, so…small). These particles can bypass our body’s defenses. Air quality alerts are tied to the number of these particles in the air, and while the US EPA has ushered in a reduction in PM2.5 emissions, they can’t really control mother nature and her wildfires. So prime your in-home air purifier and consider a mask if you need to go outside. (Time)
The Child of All Invention: Tired of saying “no” or “don’t” to your kids? Instead say “yes” and double-down on open-ended questions like “what if” to help them look at their world in a different way. Inventing inventors at a young age will enable them to be more resilient and effectively tackle more challenging problems as they grow. (Forbes)
Walking for Awe: We talk about awe a lot (Issues #40, 112, 163, 164 & 172 to name a few), whether it’s staring up at the night sky, forest bathing or being fixated on the inner workings of an anthill, it helps to be fully immersed to show real appreciation. Incorporate awe into meandering walks - pick a place, mind your senses, and start small. (NYTimes)
Thursday Night In | Blueberry Chicken Chopped Salad
Max and family had this salad a couple weeks ago. Like most salads, you have some flexibility with ingredients - he chose grilled chicken as the protein and picked feta over goat cheese. Mix it up a bit, but keep the blueberries (superfood) and the dressing!
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The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25, Inc. does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.