Issue #93: The 4-Step Process for 2023 Goals
Good morning. It's Wednesday, December 28th. 20 years ago LinkedIn was founded by Reid Hoffman and other founding team members from PayPal and Socialnet.com. Also, it's Call a Friend Day, so...do it.
“The great danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”
From the Lab: Why New Goals Are Hard
Take Action: The 4-Step Process
Speed Read: Quiet Thriving
Wednesday Weights: Double Up - Chest & Back
What We're Reading: Atomic Habits
We’re 42% more likely to achieve our goals if we write ‘em down. (CNBC)
From the Lab
Yesterday we focused on how to choose the right goals - remember it’s about who, not what (Issue #92). Why is this goal so impactful on your life and why is now the right time to pursue it?
Ok - so you’ve got the right goal. Next - how to actually stick with it.
You know why this is so hard - well, it’s only in the last few hundred years that most of us humans could even consider “delayed gratification.” For most of history, humans did whatever they needed to for immediate survival - building shelter, finding food, staying safe.
Today we can plan for the future (after all you’re here for a better, longer future).
But our brains haven’t really caught up to this new existence. Most of our habits still reflect immediate feelings - whether it’s indulging in that dessert or having another drink.
We have to trust those healthy habits are worth it.
This is why it’s so important to start with the right goal that will keep you going when in the moment you feel like it’s just not worth it.
Take Action
We’ve pulled together some of the best research and put together a 4-step plan:
1. Write down why YOU are capable of accomplishing the goal. In Do Hard Things, Steve Magness talks about how we will quit if the goal seems impossible. The goal should be a stretch - but in your heart of hearts you need to believe you can do it. How will your expertise, your determination, your environment - allow you to achieve the goal? Write that down.
2. Create a System. If the goal is the desired outcome, the system is the daily habits that will get you there. James Clear will tell you it’s nearly impossible to beat these habits - they determine your chances of success. So you need to build in the reminders, the nudges, the cues that will keep you on track towards that goal.
Going to lose the belly fat? When are you going to workout? Literally - when? What are you going to eat? Where are you going to get the food? When are you going to cook? All these little things create a system that will get you there - you can’t leave it up to chance.
The beautiful thing is that the goal helps you win once (finite game) - yep, you lost 25 lbs. But the system allows you to win over & over (infinite game) - this is how you create the new identity of being a healthy person.
3. Celebrate Wins & Forgive Yourself. Recognize even the smallest changes. This isn’t easy - appreciate what you’ve done. Write it down in your journal, shout out “hell yea”, tell your partner - give yourself permission to enjoy the journey.
When it comes to falling off the system - well in the words of Ted Lasso “be a goldfish”. Forget about it and get back to it.
I love this thinking from Gretchen Rubin - our days can be divided into four quarters (morning, afternoon, evening, night). If you didn’t make it out for a run this AM, well you just fell behind in the first quarter - the game’s not over. Don’t spiral and throw away the whole day - you can still make a comeback (did anyone see the Vikings comeback against the Colts - 0.6% chance to win the game!!) Play the full 4 quarters!
4. Find people and a community that will support, not judge you. We should write down goals (see Stat), but written goals are more real. There’s now proof that we set out to do something - what if we fail? We also don’t tell others about our goals because we don’t want to appear as a failure to them.
James Clear suggests finding a group that aligns with where you want to go. You want to run - join a running club. Our desire to belong overpowers our desire to improve. It’s not as easy to hit the snooze button for a 6am jog when your buddy is out there waiting for you. Find your tribe.
Be accountable to yourself and to others - don’t set goals from a place of fear. Go after what you want from a place of abundance alongside people cheering you on!
So what are your goals for 2023?? Want to share - we'll be your biggest advocates, just send to us at team@thrive25.com.
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Speed Read
Health & Longevity in the News
Quiet Thriving: Forget “quiet quitting” - switch to the glass being half full, and explore different ways you can adjust your relationship with work without having to leave. Try these ideas - advocate for a cause, craft your job, join a group, set boundaries, etc. - they might be easier than finding a new job. (Washington Post)
Mental Health at the Holidays: The holidays are meant to be magical, but let's be honest, they can be really hard. According to NAMI, for 64% of us, mental illness symptoms worsen around holidays. If you're feeling depressed or anxious - control what you can - make a plan, honor your needs, set boundaries, and ask for help. (Read more)
Impossible Goals?: The “art of the possible” is something consultants say to help companies look beyond the next 3-5 years in an effort to shape strategy. But what about when we think about the impossible - the supernatural, being able to transcend the material world? This actually helps us to find our place in the universe (to help the world make sense), and to better create identity to define our path forward. (Big Think)
Wednesday Weights
Upper body today - we've got a superset for your chest, then a superset for your back. Just 10 minutes and back to enjoying the week before New Years!
Click HERE to view the workout on our YouTube channel.
Workout and video courtesy of Connor J. Obrochta. Check out all of Connor's workouts on Playbook!
What We’re Reading
Many of you have probably already read it - but Atomic Habits is a great book to come back to every time you're about to reset your goals. It's packed with so many insights and yet you can still probably knock out the whole book in an afternoon. Like the four (4) laws of behavior change - make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying or "take whatever habit you're trying to build and scale it down to something that takes two minutes or less to do." Check it out as you think about who you want to become in 2023.
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We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
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