Issue #40: The Importance of Friends
Good morning. It’s Monday, October 10th. Some of you might be enjoying a long weekend. Maybe others are working and figuring out childcare. Regardless, we're here to kick off the week with you. It also happens to be World Mental Health Day.
Did you miss any of our SCIENCE issues on working with your doctor and understanding your lab tests last week? Catch up on Issues #35 - #39 here.
This week we're switching gears and talking about CONNECTION- specifically how to thrive with the right people in an increasingly lonely world.
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. You need one because you are human.”
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Number of Americans that moved between 2019-2020 (almost 10% of population).
Find Your Friends
I sat there thinking...man it'd be fun to hang out with the guys right now.
Three years ago we moved cross-country from LA to Tampa. Becoming a family of four meant reshuffling our priorities and we wanted (and probably needed) to be closer to our parents with two little ones running around.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of our lives. But like every decision, there are trade-offs. For me, aside from my in-laws, I didn't know anyone in Tampa and needed to reset my network of friends.
Humans Need Connection
For 300,000 years, humans have lived in coordinated bands that consisted of extended families and tribes. Some historians suggest that our evolutionary adaptation to throw (and thus kill food from a distance) led to our need to coordinate with others.
For most of history, humans spent equal time hunting, socializing, and sleeping. There was very little, if any, time in isolation. Being alone meant something was wrong - we were in danger.
Fast forward to today - our social living arrangements have changed dramatically. It's just in the last 100 years that nuclear families live without multiple generations and extended networks under the same roof - or at least in the same vicinity.*
But we're still wired for connection.
One of the major findings from the famous Harvard Happiness study that has followed 700 men (yes, unfortunately just men) since 1938 is the strong correlation between happiness and close ties to a spouse, family, and social circles (NOTE: not the same thing as social networks).
*1 out of 4 Americans move every few years and 15% of these moves are out of state.
3 Types of Connection
According to Dr. Vivek Murthy, there are 3 types of connection:
Intimate: your partner, spouse, confidant
Relational: your close friends, extended family that supports you
Collective: your community and neighbors
Not having the desired quality and quantity of social connection in any one of these levels can result in loneliness.
We're not talking about self-prescribed depression. This is just the situation when you don't have the ability to go out with friends in your city. Or you don't feel connected with your neighbors, or you no longer have a partner by your side. I'm sure most of us have felt this at one time or another - especially since COVID.
Well at least I did. We had a monthly Guys Dinner in LA, plus countless morning surf sessions and sunrise workouts. I was beyond grateful for my wife, my family, and my extended family - but I was missing that Relational and Collective connection.
This happens to many of us as we get into our 30's, 40's, and 50's. We go from being in constant social situations at school or first jobs to a more isolated world focused on work, kids, or both.
Get Out there
I'll be honest I'm a bit of an introvert, but have found that since being more proactive in staying connected with existing friends and reaching out for new friends, it's brought a significant amount of joy to my life.
Reach out to an old friend - don't let months go by without reconnecting
Schedule time with a close (local) friend - don't rely on text/social media, meet in-person to really connect
Put yourself out there to meet new people - whether you invite new friends or hit up any group events
Pro Tip: If #3 isn't you I totally get it. I was fortunate to find a "superconnector" in both LA and Tampa. You know - those people that just love pulling others together. Find these people and ride their coattails. 😁
Thrive25 Partner Spotlight
As parents, we can become so overwhelmed with work and kids that before we realize it, it's been months since we saw our good friends. Make time for yourself and getting together with the people that make your life fun!
Bambino Sitters is the #1 babysitting app that connects parents with local sitters through your social connections and personalized recommendations.
Go get a night out - not only do you deserve it, but it's good for your health!
Download the app and use the code THRIVE to get 15% off your first sit.
Speed Read
Health & Longevity in the News
The Fountain of Longevity: Investors are pouring billions into longevity startups in the hopes of extending lifespan. A recent study by Ancestry.com and Calico Labs suggested genetics only explains 7% of our longevity. In addition to diet & lifestyle, the key might be in our immune system (read more).
We're in Awe: Have you stopped to define "awe"? Seems like that would go against the entire point. But scientists are doing just that and seeing what happens in the brain when we get these mind-blowing experiences. Take a minute to seek out some awe and you just might be a little happier and live a little longer.
Fish for 40-somethings: New findings on omega-3 (Issue #22). Turns out that even small amounts of omega-3 makes us smarter in our 40's and may protect our brains against future dementia and Alzheimer's. Note: Check out our Referral Program below - only 5 shares and you get a month supply from Vous Vitamin to help take the next step on your brain health journey.
Monday Metabolic
You'll be sweating with this one! We didn't hold back on some Zone 5 to start the week.
Click HERE to view the workout on our YouTube channel.
Workout and video courtesy of Connor J. Obrochta. Check out all of Connor's workouts on Playbook!
World Central Kitchen Update
Checking in on what WCK is up to helping the thousands of families in Florida that are still out of their homes.
Here's the link if you're still interested in donating: World Central Kitchen
Thanks for joining us today! We'll see you bright and early tomorrow.
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We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
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To health!
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The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25 Labs LLC does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.