Issue #128: What Women Want
Good morning. It's Wednesday, February 15th. On this day in 2001, in Nature a group of hundreds of scientists published the complete human genome - all 3B base pairs. This was the culmination of a major project that started in 1990 and has enabled countless studies.
Happy birthday reader Justin T!
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything.”
From the Lab: Affection & Empathy
Take Action: Listen & Open Up
Speed Read: Tonal in Trouble
Wednesday Weights: Single Arm Workout
What We're Reading: The Good Life
The average difference between audience (57%) and critics' (36%) ratings in Rotten Tomatoes for romantic comedies. This is the biggest positive spread of any movie genre - we want to be in love! The highest rated RomCom since 1941? The Big Sick.
From the Lab
You probably know about the 5 Love Languages.
No doubt that knowing how your partner communicates is helpful (take the Quiz HERE to better understand yourself and your partner).
But according to the Harvard Happiness Study - just two things matter the most:
Affection
Empathy
Couples who expressed affectionate emotions while talking about a challenging topic were more likely to be together five years later.
Seems pretty obvious - but what does this really mean? And do we do it?
Start with affection.
The study brought in couples and then had untrained observers watch 8-10 min videos of how they interacted - showing affection vs. anger vs. humor.
Five years later they checked in with the same couples. Turns out the observers were correct 85 percent of the time in predicting if the couples would still be together. If these random observers picked up on your emotions - what do you think your partner notices??
As for empathy - this was especially critical for men.
The more men showed an interest to understand what their partner is actually feeling (not just what they’re saying) the more likely the couple stayed together.
One critical point for guys - they don’t even need to be right about what they’re feeling (let’s be honest - sometimes we just don’t get it). But it’s not about actually knowing how your partner feels - just that we care enough to try to know.
I can relate - every time my wife tells me about a problem all I want to do is solve it. But really what she wants is just me to listen and understand what she’s going through.
Bonus Point: Many men (hand raised) can be closed off and engage in a relationship with the mindset that “we’re self-sufficient” or “we’re tough." I tell myself I’m always there as a rock for my wife, but rarely open up.
There are numerous examples in the Harvard Study where the problem with the relationship wasn’t a fight - but a guy being unwilling to let their partner in.
Look - vulnerability is hard (Issue #126). What if this doesn’t work out - what if we get hurt?
Our relationships today tie up our entire life - finances, kids, even friends.
Being vulnerable doesn’t always come naturally. But living in fear is about surviving - deep intimate connections opens up the true human experience and gives us the ability to thrive.
Take Action
Listen - literally just listen and do your best to understand what your partner is feeling.
Open up - remember toughness isn’t some old-school masculinity. Toughness is being vulnerable to the people you love and love you back.
Thrive25 Partner Spotlight
Safety and security are intertwined with health & longevity. Knowing a little bit more about who you are meeting up with, sending money too, or considering doing business with can help shape informed decisions - enter dweeb.
The dweeb app taps in to the same databases that many private investigators use, and pulls publicly available, non-regulated data in to an easy use format.
Dweeb is NOT available in the typical app store, but is a free download at www.dweeb.app.
Speed Read
Health & Longevity in the News
Wanna Play a Game?: Recycle or Trash? It’s not as easy as you think. What you think you know about recycling might not be true. Local laws make it very confusing and if you really want to make sure you're doing it right - you gotta check out your own area. (NYTimes)
Tonal in Trouble: The smart fitness platform that was supposed to "change" the way we all workout raised $250M in 2021 at a $1.6B valuation. With all of us heading back to the gym, the company is now seeking a buyer at only a $500M valuation. What's next for all these fitness tech companies from the pandemic? (SportsProMedia)
The Chicken Economy: 100 years ago, we really only ate the eggs, rarely the actual bird...until a local hatchery delivered 500 chickens instead of 50 to a farm. Without an Amazon return policy, the farm ended up making a nice profit. Word spread…globally we consumed 8B chicken in 1965 - now that number is 70 BILLION. (Read more)
Wednesday Weights
Back in the weight room today to strengthen our chest, but also our core, back & shoulders with a pull-through exercise that is definitely underrated.
Click HERE to view the workout on our YouTube channel.
Workout and video courtesy of Connor J. Obrochta. Check out all of Connor's workouts on Playbook!
What We’re Reading
The Good Life
Many articles, blogs and podcasts attempt to summarize the findings from the Harvard Happiness study (including us). But the headlines don't do justice to the many scientific findings and interesting stories of the hundreds of people who actually participated in the research. This book quickly became one of my favorites that I highly recommend to just about everyone in my network. Trust the title - if you want to live The Good Life, check it out. (Amazon)
Thanks for joining us today!
Check out the latest workout videos on our YouTube channel
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Why Thrive25
We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
This newsletter is for you and we truly value your feedback. Never hesitate to reach out to us at team@thrive25.com.
To health!
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The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25 Labs LLC does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.